Boredom: Jet fuel for the fun rocket.

If you have been consumed with fear that something might happen to me out here, fear not. I have been taken OFF road repair and put ON interior guard. What that means is, the next time I leave the wire of Al-Asad, it will be to get on a bird.

Another upside is that I now have a set schedule. 0600 - 1400 is guard duty. The rest of the time is my own. Unfortunatley, that time is spent in one spot. With a flak jacket on. Eight hours is a long time when you're standing around, waving in vehicles. Once again, boredom forces me to seek out new avenues of adventure and excitement.

Today, I fed birds. You could have easily mistaken me for the crazy bird lady at the park, except I was sweating a lot more than she usually does. Also, instead of throwing them some tasty bread, they were getting sodium-laden potato chips and delicious oreo cookies.

At first, the birds were like...um....birds. Keeping their distance, hopping around, you know. Acting bird-like. But gradually, the sweet, sweet goodness of soft creme filling between two chocolate cookies brought them closer to me. Soon, they were eating cookies from less than two feet away. Not a big accomplishment, really. Unless of course, you're in Iraq. Then it's hot, hot betting action with the black Corporal on guard with me. The betting on how close I could get birds to come was my idea. His contribution to interracial friendship was asking me if I thought OJ was guilty. No goddamn way I was touching that one.

Stay tuned, as I continue to charm my feathered friends and mold friendships by way of cheap processed food.