Saturday, April 09, 2005

The green wienie cometh

In the dark corners of the Marine Corps hides a terrible being. Long and sleek, olive drab in color, it feeds on the happiness of enlisted men. Only the saltiest, bravest of men dare to speak it's name: GREEN WIENIE.

Late last night, it sensed a good deal of happiness coming from a particular Lance Corporal. Creepingly, stealthily, it makes it's way out out of the home created from the misery of others. It watches in silence as this Marine eats chow, listens to music, posts on the internet. As the Green Wienie hovers in silence, he reads the following words: "I waited four days for something interesting to happen".

This is a grievous personal insult to the Green Wienie, and so he sets his terrible sights on our beloved Company Commander, poisoning his mind, and makes him decide to move Marines from one room to another, confusing the entire company, causing havoc & discontent in the wake of this order. Satisfied that it's work here is done, the Green Wienie returns to his watchpost, where he is seeking, always seeking, the beginnings of happiness or comfort.

The Green Wienie is always watching. It will never sleep, nor tire, nor hear your cries for mercy.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "There is no such thing as a Green Wienie." But there is, my friend. There is.

At least, that's the only thing that makes any sense. Because if it wasn't the Green Wienie that made the Major decide that everyone should do a perverse version of musical chairs, then I don't know what did. It took me two hours to pack up last night and another two to unpack everything into my room this morning. What's done is done, but the worst part is my new roommates. I've got two full-grown shitbirds in there with me, and if they make it to the end of this thing without me shooting them, it'll be nothing short of a miracle. Must......control...fist......of...death.......

But enough whining. I've still got it better than a lot of other guys, so I'll be glad for what I've got.

In other, more interesting news, I've got a mission coming up...uh..."soon." So there won't be an update for "a little while." Once it's all over, I'll tell ya who I was with & what we were doing. Hopefully it doesn't violate opsec (that's operational security) to say that it's a fucking cool mission, because I'm going to say it: This is a fucking cool mission. Haha! Fiddle-dee-dee! I said it!

Clearly, I'm losing my mind, so I'll go ahead and finish this off. As always, more word to follow.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A cool mission!!!!!


Take pictures!

Can you take the green weenie with you?

8:24 PM  
Blogger PirateLad said...

The green wienie is with us always.

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does he have a cousin, the blue wienie?

12:27 PM  
Blogger PirateLad said...

It's certainly possible that the Air Force could have such a creature in it's midst, but theirs is certainly not as malicious.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well hello Dave!!
No matter how long I go without conversing with you, I still manage to laugh my ass off, whatever the subject may be. Its good to know you're alive and doing...umm...well? I guess. (heh) I will continue to check in on your "blogs" and wish you luck in your travels!!

12:37 AM  

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